Sometimes You Can’t Make it On Your Own
Two key components that make relationships meaningful in our lives- the time that you would point to as the time where you felt most fulfilled in relationships have two elements, there were real relationships and common goals.
This core values definition is “authentic relationships committed to a common vision.”
Real relationship means that you've learned how to be yourself around these people in your life. A few ways to know is by seeing if you have refrigerator rights with this person, which means, can this person walk into your house and you into theirs and look inside their fridge.
What is a real relationship?
It's when a person can just call you to call you, they don't need a reason to call you. How many people do you have in your life who you can just call to call? How many people in your life make you feel happy on the inside when you see their caller ID? That's a true test of real, healthy friendships. Are they a voicemail friend? Or do you look forward to their call?
Other indicators of real friendships are: you don't have to mind your manners around them, you can be honest with them, tell them what's really on your mind. You have to worry about offending them because the relationship is deep enough and they know the real you.
You and your friends should have common goals. The church has the most meaningful relationships. The reasons some people might not fellowship with other church members is because they feel they don't have time, God values his people being in deep relationships, we can see that through the book of Acts, so we're stuck with it because God wrote it and we don't have a big eraser to erase what God wrote.
Community is not what we do as a church it is a by product, we are not primarily in a church so people can make friends although that is a lot of the main reason why people go to church. So a lot of reasons why people keep attending the same church especially young people is because there are people that look like them and think like them. That's fine but that's just the by product of the church being the church, doing the work that God left the church to do. When it comes to community in the church think of army not fraternity. Think of it as the aim of what Jesus called us to do.
When we treat community as the goal instead of the by product, the goal is doing what Jesus has called us to do, the goal is lifting Jesus high, the goal is making Jesus known, the goal is worshiping Jesus. But when we make a community and friendships and having our needs met the priority, everything turns in and so the focus becomes “me”, feed “me”, bless “me”, notice “me”, recognize “me”, he didn’t speak to “me”, she didn’t speak to “me”, I don’t feel like they care about “me”. So you need to start thinking battleship and not cruise ship, if you went on board with this ship, in this house, because a battleship is about mission and a cruise ship is about “me.”
1 Corinthians 12:12-31. When you’re not doing what you’re supposed to be doing in the church the whole church suffers.
You need it and you’re needed, these are the reasons for community.
We are one body with many parts, when you think about unity in the church and community in the church it’s important for you to realize that God has ordained us to be a body, when you think of the body of Christ think of unity but not unison, think unity but not uniformity, it means we can be different but fulfill the same purpose.
God made you the way He made you so you can do what He made you to do, so you can be what He made you to be, in conjunction with who he called her to be and when you get with her and get married, she is going to start to compliment you and fit with you and aggravate you but its for a purpose because the very things you despise about her are the very things that are going to make you the man that God wants you to be. Think about it, why do puzzle pieces fit together if their shaped differently? So the very thing that annoys you about the key people in your life is the very thing that God designed to use to bring you into conformity with the image of His son so you can be like Jesus and the very thing that rubs you the wrong way about the most important people in your life is the very thing that is pointing you the right way so you can be on mission with God. You need community and we need you because God is in the business of stacking intervals so that we’re all working in harmony. This is important because we are different, but we can still be unified. We don’t have to look alike to be focused on God’s ultimate objective and to move forward in the same general direction together.
“I do not want people in my life who compete with me, I want people in my life who complete me.”
Who has God put in my life to complete me, even if they rub me the wrong way, or correct me because I need it?
Community shapes you, who you let into your life and who you keep out of your life will directly influence your destiny and your future more than any other single decision you make on a human level.
Some of you are struggling because nobody is allowed in your life, you can’t be God’s best that way. It shapes you, it forms you, who you let in your life and who you keep out of your life, that’s just as important because there are some people who do not belong in your life.
Psalm 1 and Proverbs 1 are both centered around instructions about who you associate with and they are both warnings about who you associate with. The main theme of both chapters are about who you associate with.
Who you keep out of your life whether they are the people who God intended to step into your life, and change the deep places through true real relationships and common goals, are who you keep out of your life who God intends for you to keep out of your life because they’re nothing but trouble. You are still a direct reflection of the people you allow in your life, it’s shaping you more than you know and if you don’t allow people in your life who have the ability and authority that means they can both do it, they’re able to and you allow them to, into your life who can speak to you concerning the things of God, who can lay it all on the line. You don’t have those kind of people in your life if you don’t get plugged into it, in some form or another., you’ll never be what God wants you to be because it shapes you.
John 17: 20-23. > Jesus asked his father for unity. This is Jesus prayer for all of us, unity. As we focus up on God and as we focus out on our mission and we grow close to each other like a triangle, and as all of our eyes are fixed on Jesus because his opinion is the only one that counts, we naturally gravitate to each other and real relationships naturally form. As we focus up, everything moves up, every attitude is lifted, all eyes are on Jesus. There are few reasons why we have to be unified:
1) Jesus gets what he prays for, and he gets what he pays for.
2) God is invisible. Jesus said make them one, so that the world may know that God sent Him. Since God is invisible what we do as the body of Christ, is the visible representation in the earth of who God is, and so what the world sees in us they believe about our father who they can’t see. We have the power to misrepresent our Father.
3) Lives are on the line.
Three things we believe as we structure a church.
1) We believe that leaders should lead. Proverbs 29:18
2) Voting creates losers. Leaders will lead under the accountability of God and the direction of the Holy Spirit with another layer of accountability to make sure the information is always provided to the congregation so that you know exactly why we’re going, where we’re going. That is God’s way.
3) Groups work best. True care comes from Ephesians 4:11-13.